Proactive? Reactive?

We challenge the habit of reacting to life and show how proactive faith helps us choose our response with wisdom instead of impulse. We lean on Scripture and practical tools to stop giving other people the driver’s seat and start preparing for what God calls us to do next. 
• the real difference between reactive living and proactive living 
• why our mentality affects our reality across relationships, work, money, health and faith 
• James 1:19-20 and the power of the pause between event and response 
• how reactive language hands away control of our emotions and actions 
• Romans 12:21 and refusing to mirror someone else’s toxicity 
• what proactive actually looks like: boundaries, forgiveness, hard talks, waiting to respond 
• Proverbs 16:32 on self-control as real strength 
• separating what we cannot control from what we can control 
• circle of concern vs circle of influence and why worry drains us 
• changing the question from why me to what now 
• Noah as a picture of proactive faith and preparation before the storm 
• reflection questions on repeating problems, procrastination and next steps 
So if you don't have a relationship with Jesus today, you better get right. 

Transcript

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Proactive Or Reactive

SPEAKER_04 0:00

Are you a proactive person or a reactive person? Are you choosing your response or letting life choose it for you? My name's B-Robb, and this is the Foo for Thought FaithCast. And if you're interested in more, keep listening. I'll be right back.

SPEAKER_00 0:19

Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the ones who see the world differently, who don't fit neatly into boxes, and refuse to live by someone else's script. You can quote them, you can disagree with them, you can glorify them or vilify them, you can shake your head at their ideas or be inspired by their courage. But the one thing you cannot do is ignore them. Because they change things. They disrupt what's comfortable, they challenge what's normal, and they push the human race forward. Sometimes with loud revolutions, sometimes with quiet persistence that changes everything over time. They see possibility where others see limits. They dare to dream out loud when the world tells them to be silent. They take risks, they stumble, they rise again, and they keep going. Not because it's easy, but because they can't imagine doing anything else. These are the ones who remind us that every great leap forward was once considered impossible. So here's to them: the ones who won't sit down, won't be quiet, and won't stop until the world is different. Because they're the reason it will be.

Sponsor Message And Welcome

SPEAKER_01 1:57

Freedom starts with truth.

SPEAKER_03 2:07

This episode is sponsored partly by Treynaught. Taking care of your body matters. That's why I've partnered with Tray Not. Traynaut offers high-quality supplements designed to support your energy and overall wellness. So if you want to feel better and stay consistent, go to traynaut.com forward slash B-rob. That's TreyNot.com forward slash B-rob.

SPEAKER_02 2:38

Hello, we would like to welcome you to the Food for Thought Face Cast with my husband, your host, B-Rob. So without further ado, here's B-Rob.

SPEAKER_04 3:02

Hey guys, it's B-Rob, and I just want to welcome you back, Faith Cast fam, to another episode of the Food for Thought Faith Cast, where we feed your faith, challenge your thinking, and give you something good to chew on. You know what I'm saying? That's why we call it Food for Thought.

Why Your Response Shapes Reality

SPEAKER_04 3:21

But today, like I said in the intro, I want to talk about two words that describe more than just how we handle problems. They can describe how we handle life as well. Those words being proactive and reactive. Now, here's a question. Are you choosing your response to life or are you allowing life to choose your response for you? Because, guys, that's a huge, huge difference. Reactive people actually wait for something to happen and then respond to it, hence the word reactive. Now, proactive people understand that they may not be able to control what happens, but they can prepare themselves for a proper response when it does. It's kind of like one person says, Man, look what happened to me. And the other person says, Okay, this happened. Now, what's the plan? You follow? And see, the difference between that mentality affects your reality. I'm gonna say that again. The difference between that mentality affects your reality. It affects your relationships, it affects your career, it affects your finances, it affects your health, it affects whether you are a good leader or a bad leader, and it definitely affects your faith in your walk with God. Because faith itself requires us to stop living as though everything outside of us gets to determine everything inside of us. I'm gonna say that again, because faith itself requires us to stop living as though everything outside of us gets to determine everything that's happening inside of us. So today, fam, faithcast fam, I want us all to ask ourselves: are we living proactively or are we constantly reacting to whatever life is throwing at us? Because life's gonna give us something to react to. Let's establish that right away. Being proactive does not mean nothing bad happens. It doesn't mean that disappointment won't happen. It doesn't mean that your plans don't work. It doesn't mean you'll never get emotionally angry, frustrated, hurt, discouraged, overwhelmed. I mean, life's gonna give you plenty of everything that you need to react to. I promise you that. You know what I'm saying? Hold the front door. Someone says something disrespectful, coworkers get on your nerves. I mean, you live with the same spouse every single day, and they're bound to get on your nerves at some point, right? Or have an attitude. Your children are bound to not listen to you at some point. There are plenty of bills that always come unexpectedly. Cars break down, promotions don't happen, people betray trust, plans fall apart, and then your emotions suddenly scream the loudest to react. They want you to say something, they want you to do something, they want you to get even, they want you to shut down, they want you to walk away, they want you to send a text, they want you to post a comment, they want you to make a decision.

Scripture And The Power Of Choice

SPEAKER_04 7:32

But scripture tells us to do something different. If you turn your Bibles to James chapter one, verses 19 and 20, it basically says everyone should be quick to listen, to hear, slow to speak, slow to talk, slow to spell, and slow to become angry. Emotion. Because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. Let's break it down. Slow to speak, like I said, slow to spell. Don't run your mouth, slow to become angry, become emotional. And see, the way you do that, that requires the space between what happened to you and how you react or what comes out of you. And inside that space, there's something very, very, very powerful. It's called choice. But you have a choice concerning what happens next or how you respond. And I'ma tell you something, reactive people give away their power. And it's all in the language that they use. He made me or she made me angry. He or she ruined my day. I only said it because they said it first. Do you hear the language? Do you hear the language? By the way, it's 1010 a.m. I see these all the time. 1111, 1010, 707, 717. Sorry, I just went off on a tangent, didn't I? Sorry, I just got a little autism on y'all. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that. But anyway, do you see the language? Do you hear what's happening? Do you're actually giving somebody else the driver's seat? You're saying your behavior determines my behavior. If you're kind, I'll be kind. If you disrespect me, I'll disrespect you. If you yell, I'll yell. If you become, if you ignore me, I'll ignore you. You become a mirror. And that, my friends, is reactive living. And if you live that way long enough, everybody around you gets a vote into determining your life and who you become and the person you will be. But let me tell you, friends, as followers of God, as children of God, our character isn't supposed to be determined by someone else. Romans 12, 21. Look at there, 1221. Look at that. 1, 2, 2, 1. Wow. Says, do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Think about that. Do not be overcome. In other words, don't allow somebody else and what they do to enter your heart and change who you are. Don't allow somebody else's toxicity. Don't allow somebody else's bitterness to become yours. Don't allow their anger, it doesn't have to become your anger. Their disrespect doesn't have to become your disrespect. Their dysfunction does not have to become your dysfunction. You can experience something without becoming a reflection of that mirror. You see, that's where proactive faith steps

Proactive Does Not Mean Passive

SPEAKER_04 12:26

in. Proactive doesn't mean passive. Nope. It does not mean passive. So let's clear that air. Being proactive doesn't mean being a doormat. It doesn't mean allowing people to mistreat you. It does not mean ignoring problems. It doesn't mean smiling while everything's falling apart. No, we're not talking about that. And it definitely doesn't mean pretending you don't have emotions because everybody does. But let me tell you what it does mean. Being proactive means that you get to decide your response based on wisdom instead of impulse. Sometimes that proactive response may be forgiveness. Sometimes it's a hard conversation. Sometimes it's setting a boundary. Sometimes it's admitting that you're wrong. Sometimes it's asking for help, which I have a problem doing. And sometimes, I hate to say it, it's leaving a situation, period. But a lot of times it's staying and working through something that's difficult. And the response might be, I'm not going to respond to this right now because I'm too emotional to respond wisely. You see, that, my friends, is strength. Proverbs 1632 says, Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city. You see, we usually mistake strength for power, strength for being able to control a situation. But scripture reminds us that sometimes the greater strength is being able to control ourselves.

Control What Belongs To You

SPEAKER_04 15:03

What part of this situation is actually mine? What part of it belongs to me? Because I think we spend an incredible amount of emotional energy trying to control things that we were never meant to control. Can you control what somebody else thinks about you? Nope. Can you control what somebody else says about you? Nope. Can you control whether somebody understands you? Nope. Can you control the economy? Nope. Can you control what happens tomorrow? Nope. Can you control the weather? Definitely not. And you definitely cannot control every outcome. And you definitely sure can't control the past. But I'm gonna tell you this right now, as God is my witness, you can control whether you tell the truth or not. You can control whether you apologize or not, you can control whether you prepare because the preparation is in the separation, isn't the preparation. We already know that. You can control whether you pray, you can control whether you ask for wisdom and seek wisdom, honestly. You can control whether you keep your word, you can control whether you show up when you say you're gonna show up, you can control whether you grow. Another thing you can control is whether you allow disappointment to become that excuse to stop you from doing what God has called you to do. That's some harsh thing to think about right there. That's a checkup from the neck up. Sometimes we're asking God to change everything around us when we are sitting there looking in the mirror, and God is trying to change something within us.

Circle Of Concern Vs Influence

SPEAKER_04 17:33

I'm reading a book called The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People by Stephen Covey. And there's a simple method in there, and it's an idea, and it fits right here, and it's so perfect. It's the circle of concern versus the circle of influence. I love reading, and if you haven't read that book, you need to. There are things in our circle of concern, things that we care about, think about, worry about. And then there are things in our circle of influence, things that actually that we can actually control, that we can actually do something about. You follow? Circle of influence, things you care about, think about, worry about, stress about, the things that are dear to your heart. And then the things, then the things that we can actually do something about, circle of influence. That's what that's called. Remember that 90% of the things that we worry about do not come true. Keep that in mind. Here's the problem: some of us are so exhausted because we're spending all of our energy in our circle of concern, and then we don't spend any of our energy in our circle of influence. You follow where I'm going with this? You cannot control what somebody else does. You can't control what they say about you, but you can control your response. You cannot control tomorrow, but you can prepare for it today, right? No matter what happens tomorrow, you're still prepared. You can't control another person's choices, but you can establish boundaries for yourself. The same way you can't control every outcome, but you can choose whether you're faithful with what God has placed in your hands. You see, I think there's a spiritual lesson there. Stop trying to do God's job and start being faithful doing yours. Give God what you cannot control. Take responsibility for what you can. Trust Him with the outcome. Quit worrying about the world, quit worrying about other people, quit worrying about influences.

Rooted Identity Over Crowd Noise

SPEAKER_04 20:21

Look at Jesus. People praised him, but people also criticized him. People misunderstood him. People also falsely accused him of a lot of things. But Jesus wasn't constantly changing direction based on the emotional temperature of the crowd. He knew his father, he knew his mission, he knew who he was, and that his identity was rooted in God the Father. And when your identity is rooted in God the Father, criticism doesn't have to destroy you, and praise doesn't have to control you. Listen when you need to listen. Learn when you need to learn, correct what needs to be corrected, but do not let every voice around you control the person that God is trying to develop in you, the identity that He is creating in you. Because let me tell you, not everything. Needs an emotional reactive response immediately. Sometimes that text can wait. I have a problem with that. I'm kind of OCD when it comes to somebody needing a response. I'm learning. I'm learning like everybody else that sometimes comments can wait. Arguments don't have to be settled right now just because your emotional insides are yearning to fight. Sometimes wisdom simply says, I'm not ready to have that conversation yet. Look at Proverbs nineteen eleven. A person's wisdom yields patience. It is to one's glory to overlook an offense. Pause, pray, think, then respond. That little space between what happens and what

Pause Pray Think Then Respond

SPEAKER_04 23:46

you do next can change your whole world. It can change everything. That that why me change to instead of why me to what now? At some point we gotta change the question. Why me to what now? You see the difference? Why me is reactive. What now is proactive. So at some point we've got to change that question. Instead of asking why this happened to me, start asking, what am I going to do about it? I know maybe what happened wasn't fair. Maybe somebody hurt you. Maybe you made a mistake. Whatever the case is. You need time to process it. You need time to grieve it, but eventually you have to decide what comes next. You cannot stuff it. Philippians 3, 13 and 14 talks about forgetting what is behind and pressing forward, what is ahead. Your past may explain where you are, but it does not determine where you have to go next. I mean, think about Noah. God told him rain was coming, and Noah built the ark before the rain even

Build The Ark Before Rain

SPEAKER_04 25:34

came. That's proactive faith. He didn't, a lot of people laughed at him. But see, faith doesn't just respond when the problem comes. Faith prepares for when the problem comes. If God is showing you something about your marriage, your finances, your help, your attitude, forgiveness, anything, anything he gives you, anything he gives you, act on it. Build the ark before the rain comes. You see, faith and preparation says things like, I believe what God is showing me enough to act on it today. I have to keep telling myself this. I prepare a podcast and then I procrastinate doing it. When it needs to be done. That's a strong analogy right there. What problem keeps repeating because you keep responding to the symptom instead of addressing

Hard Questions And Next Steps

SPEAKER_04 27:30

the actual root of the cause? What person are you allowing to control your attitude? And here's a good one. What has God already shown you that you keep procrastinating that you need to act on today? Because a lot of times I'm telling you, we keep praying for God to show us what to do. And God's saying, I already did. So, guys, take the next step, whatever that is, a phone call, a conversation, a goal, a boundary, an apology. Preparation. There is separation in the preparation, baby. Get into the word of God. Start reading things that are going to feed you positive things, not murder mysteries, not psychotic novels, you know. I mean, come on. Food for thought, not garbage for thought. And remember, you don't have to control everything. So recognize what belongs to you, surrender what belongs to God, and faithfully handle what He has placed in your hands to do today. The question is not whether life is going to throw something at you to react to, because we know that is going to happen. The question is, who, what kind of person are you going to be when it does? Let's go to the Lord in prayer. Dear Heavenly Father, we thank you, Lord. We thank you so much for reminding us that

Prayer And Final Challenge

SPEAKER_04 29:56

we cannot control everything around us, but we can surrender how we respond to it, to you. Lord, Father, we can come to you for wisdom. Give us wisdom, Lord. Give us the wisdom to know what belongs to us and what belongs to you, Lord. Father God, when our emotions tell us to react, Lord, please just slap us upside the head and teach us to pause. When our anger tells us to speak out, Lord, please quiet our soul and give us wisdom. Lord, when fear tells us to panic, Lord, just remind us that that is false evidence appearing real and that you are the present and living God. Father, help us stop wasting energy on trying to control things we cannot control and we were never meant to control, Lord. Father, just teach us to take responsibility for what we can control. Father God, just help us to prepare for the storm and pray about everything we do and act accordingly to your will, because we know that is your will that is to be done. Father God, we put all our trust and faith into you. It's in your sons, Jesus, holy, heavenly name we pray. Amen and hallelujah. And guys, remember, remember, you may not get to choose everything that happens to you. But with faith in God, you can choose what you allow it to produce in you. So until next time, guys, I love you. God loves you more. Get right with life, get right with God, get right with get right financial. I can only get you life insurance, but God can give you life assurance. So if you don't have a relationship with Jesus today, you better get right.